An Introvert’s Dilemma

Hi, I am an introvert...it is a normal state of being, and all introverts are normal! This is for all those who think otherwise. There I have said it!

A few weeks ago a leading Hindi film and television actor committed suicide. As the news of his death circulated the airwaves, a video of him speaking at a leading engineering college surfaced. This post is not about him or anything related to his death. What he said at the start of this speech, is what really prompted me to write this post. He said,

"I became an actor because I had a problem, I was an introvert..."

He goes on to give a very articulate and informative speech about his life decisions and choices. But this statement stayed with me. 

Why did he think being an introvert is a problem? Is it really a problem? Do other introverts feel the same...well, I am an introvert, and, for a very long time, I too felt like it was a ‘Problem’ or ‘Weird behavior’ that I had to deal with. If you think it is a problem, or know someone who is dealing with this or even relate to it yourself, then read on.

It took me almost 30 years of my life to first find out that I was an introvert and what it means to be one. And a few more years, to learn more about myself and accept this as being ‘NORMAL’. One book that really influenced this change was ‘Quiet - The power introverts in a world that can’t stop talking’ a book by Susan Cain. She explains that, in a world that is designed for extroverts, we introverts really need to understand, accept, and exert ourselves a lot more...as the world needs us!

So…Being an introvert is NOT a problem!

Introverts are everywhere, are you one?

Approximately half of the world’s population is introverted. Yes, there are many of us, and you are probably one and don’t know it yet. Many are acting like extroverts as their ‘public’ lives or jobs might demand it (a claim also made by the actor mentioned earlier).

There are many psychological definitions of introversion and extroversion. Susan Cain uses empirical data to place both on a spectrum based on external stimulation. Introverts have a preference for a quiet, more minimally stimulating environment. Conversely, extroverts are energized by highly stimulating situations. People falling near the middle of the spectrum are called Ambiverts. She also explains that there are different types of introverts and each one needs to find their way of dealing with situations.

So which end of the spectrum are you on? Well let’s see...you can take this short test that should tell you instantly.

 

Accept and Acknowledge:

The first and most important aspect is to know and understand that wanting to spend time alone or with a small group of friends, seeking smaller and deeper interactions, wanting to work alone instead of groups, wanting to listen instead of speak all the time, going into a lonely space to recharge, are all very normal. This is extremely important not only for the introverted person to accept but also for those who may be interacting with one - friend, spouse, child, colleague, and partner.

Acknowledging an introvert for who they are without prejudice, liberates them from the constant need to explain themselves. This allows for more space for self-discovery and growth, giving them more confidence and an equal playing field.

The world needs introverts now more than ever:

As the world transforms from a pre-COVID-19 to a post-COVID-19 way of life. There is a need for quiet reflection, deeper connections, having conversations on topics that matter, and making changes that are for the better. These all come naturally to introverts, but what is stopping us?

As Myers-Briggs puts it in their post on ‘World Introverts Day’ (yes we have a day!) on January 2nd, there exists a strong unconscious bias against introverts, when it comes to appointment to leadership positions across spheres. So, introverts have to ‘act’ like extroverts to get noticed. 

Susan Cain emphasizes that despite these biases, we are on a cusp of change. As the understanding of introverts grows and the field starts leveling up, the acceptance will grow and things will start to change. 

What next?

Introvert or extrovert, we are all human beings with a story to tell and a life worth living. We need to acknowledge and accept people for who they are - Extrovert or Introvert or Ambivert. We may not understand them, but we must not judge or condemn them.

Remember, Albert Einstein and Mahatma Gandhi were, as well as Barrack Obama, Warren Buffet, Bill Gates (and many other tech leaders), and Superman are introverts!